I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize