She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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