My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.