4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
