I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half