Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.