never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
