If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?