I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize