Kiss
Puke
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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