He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
