so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
