i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
