Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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