I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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