I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
