There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
