You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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