I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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