He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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