plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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