It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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