my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize