he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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