When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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