Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
