Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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