He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
