apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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