Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
