So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
