? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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