grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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