I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I forget how to act sober
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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