who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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