Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
