Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
two words...techno handjob
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
