Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I got her a Nickelback box set.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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