The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
