Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
