I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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