who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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