WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
