Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
