No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
