you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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