AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
