I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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