your thong is hanging out like whoa
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.