Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I don't think brook has ever known best
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask