I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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