He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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