Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
