Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
