Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
