I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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