Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
