haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
