Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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