Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
