Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
