It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
