WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Even my vagina gasped.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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