Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize