Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
