so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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