No, drunk sperm still make babies.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
