He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
