You made me cry and you don't even care
I bet he comes in French.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
